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Monday, August 15, 2011

Comic Book Haikus - July 2011 Issues

Avengers #15
Some more talking heads
Spider-woman is badass
Toothless Wolverine

Avengers Academy #16
Fight Absorbing Man
Door frame made of skyscrapers
Veil kills a guy too

Fear Itself #4

Thor comes back to earth
Serpent looks like Machete
Iron man gets drunk

Fear Itself: The Deep #2

Demon sea creatures
Silver Surfer surf board smack
Two head Tiger Shark?

Fear Itself: The Home Front #4
Speedball holds his own
But for only a short time
You can skip the rest

Fear Itself: Uncanny X-Force #1
Superhuman caught
Deadpool talks to some plush toys
More misdirection

Herc #5
A centipede train
The nerds are praying to Herc
The gods are assholes

Heroes for Hire #9
Heroes are hired
Escaped inmates from the raft
Purple Man is back!

Invincible Iron Man #506
Stark calls on Odin
Some weapons need to be made
Stark parties with dwarves

New Avengers #14
Spider-man is out
Fastball AND Fistball special
Mockingbird kicks ass

Secret Avengers #15

 False news articles
Civilians don't understand
Black Widow is PISSED

Uncanny X-men #540

Guy gets dragon face
Juggernaut has a hype man
Namor rejected

Uncanny X-men #541

Unstoppable Juggs
Cowgirl Emma on a throne
The hype man gets punched

Moon Knight #3
No one likes the show
Moon Knight dresses as Bullseye
He hits on Echo

New Mutants #27
Nate Grey is rescued
Dani kicks Sugar Man's ass
Does he have an ass?

Astonishing X-men #40
X-men infected
Kitty and Lockheed with guns
A good baby Brood

Generation Hope #9
A 7th Light found
A college kid who's melting
His friend is a douche!

New Mutants #28

Hope teaches Nate Grey
The New Mutants see a shrink
Possessed with demons

Uncanny X-Force #12
A punch then a kiss
Blob has some nipple piercings
Mega Man Logan

Wolverine #12
Fire Knives and Saw Fist
More of the Red Right Hand's Past
The flies are laughing

X-23 #12
Laura goes beserk
A trigger scent for humans
Guys go to a bar

X-Factor #222
Strong Guy kissed Monet
Then has to ride the gurney
"M'man she is sweeeeeeeet"

X-men #14
Cyclops's memories
Broadcasted to everyone
Toad and them "GET ROCKED!"

X-men #15
A magic device
Kills Evolutionaries
That comes in handy

X-men: Schism #1

Idie likes ice cream
Who the hell is Quentin Quire?
Black King is a kid

X-men: Schism #2
Dog face aliens
Kitty pwns Arab leader
Cyclops is TOO "Slim"

X-men Legacy #252
Legion has chosen
Rogue caught in an explosion
♫Gambit's got a gun♫ (note: to the tune of Aerosmith's "Janie's Got a Gun")

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