Check out my stand-up comedian page at

Check out my store page

I also co-host an Avengers podcast called Earth's Mightiest Podcast

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Comic Book Haikus - May 2011 Issues

Avengers #13
Rulk really likes eggs
Spidey throws up in his mask
Hawkeye is a pimp

New Avengers #12
Hawkeye wants revenge
Cage outranks Laurence Fishburne
By 7000

Secret Avengers #13
Secret Avengers
A Night at the Museum
A mashup comic

Avengers Academy Giant Size #1
Kids against Arcade
Academy and Young Allies
Unicorn hoodie

Avengers Academy #13
Super hero prom
Speedball on the 1's and 2's
Pym gets his swerve on

Avengers Academy #14
The Sinister Six
Triceratops beats Rhino
The kids cannot count

Fear Itself #2
The Worthy are picked
Don't spit in Odin's one eye
Mech war on White House

Fear Itself: The Home Front #2
Stamford folks are dumb
The "Thule" sounds a lot like "Stool"
Purple Man is loose

Herc #2
Hobgoblin's "Flamey"
Is no match for Greek relics
Ghost blob in a bag

Herc #3
Herc has some new threads
The worshipers turn on Herc
Woman with three faces

Invincible Iron Man #504
Paris folks get "stoned"
Grey Gargoyle looks real badass
Mountains of rubble

Heroes for Hire #6
Batroc "Ze Leaper"
Actually kicking ass
Spider-man shows up

Heroes for Hire #7
Spidey overwhelmed
Paladin needs a receipt
Misty's in the field

Moon Knight #1
Moon Knight in LA
The Avengers in his head
A west coast Kingpin?

Power Man and Iron Fist #5
Nazis beaten up
Crime-Buster's true murderers
Murder is avenged

Silver Surfer #4
Silver Surfer's back
Enter Future Foundation
The Heralds make out

Generation Hope #7
Kitty's a heathen
Laurie is a flying fish
The baby is born

Namor: The First Mutant Annual #1
Namor breaks an arm
Hey! Hope uses her power!
Chicks dig Steve Rogers

New Mutants #25
New New Mutants Run
Colossus says Logan smells
Cleaning up loose ends

Uncanny X-Force #9
A filler issue
Magneto knows of X-Force
Who else knows of them?

Uncanny X-Force #10
Warren's out of it
People now know of X-Force
Off to AoA!

Uncanny X-men #537
So Kitty can bleed
A bunch of blank word bubbles
Yay! No more space suit?

X-men #11
A birthday party
For Vampire Jubilee
Do they serve blood cake?

X-men Giant Size #1
The Neo show up
The Evolutionaries
Make them go away

X-men Legacy #248
Age of X is done
Gambit puts Rogue in her place
Back with Magneto?

X-men Legacy #249
Nazi History
Snazzy wristwatch on Legion
Frenzy makeover

X-men: Prelude to Schism #1
Something big happened
Student has surpassed the teacher
Xavier can't help

X-men: Prelude to Schism #2
It's Magneto's turn
Some more Nazi history
Nothing happens still

Astonishing X-men #37
Fin Fang Foom is there
Wolverine won't kill monsters?
Stand with family

Astonishing X-men #38
Problems with the Brood
Terrible drawing of Beast
Loki is a drunk

Daken: Dark Wolverine #9
End to Collision
Tyger Tiger fan service
Taken explosion

Daken: Dark Wolverine #9.1
Madripoor is done
Daken goes to Hollywood
Visits his dad first

Wolverine #9
Here comes Lord Deathstrike
Wolverine gets some revenge
Here comes black ninjas

X-23 #10
Gambit calls for help
Wolverine and Jubilee
Sibling rivalry

Carbon Grey #3
Giselle is badass
There's a magic floating rock
Kaiser wasn't killed


  1. too much time for you
    either that, or you are just
    the world's biggest nerd

    a haiku for you, from me! :-)
    P.S. This is Dorothy, by the way...

  2. I beg to differ
    Your husband totes outnerds me
    Thanks for the haiku!