Comic Book Haikus - April 2011 Issues

Fear Itself #1
The Watcher watches
Odin's not the All Father
Odin still talks smack

Fear Itself: The Home Front #1
Lame villain spring break
Speedball tries to make amends
Internet trolling

Fear Itself: Sin's Past #1
A small Sin intro
There's only six new pages
Don't waste your money

Invincible Iron Man #503
Some dealing with Thor
Tony looks like a lil bitch
Start of Fear Itself

Avengers #12
All an illusion
A new Illuminati
Red Hulk gets payback

Avengers #12.1
Drawn like the old Beast
Big flat noses all around
An old foe returns

New Avengers #11
Kicked ass in the past
Beaten up in the present
Sperm whale smash ambush

Secret Avengers #12
There's a giant bug
More of the Shadow Council
John Steele switches sides

Secret Avengers #12.1
U.S. Agent there
Security Compromise
They still hate Ant Man

Avengers Academy #12
The kids are grown up
A Mettle/Hazmat moment
Striker is a douche

Incredible Hulks #626
Hulk's tux doesn't rip
Unstable molecules, yo!
The Spy Who Smashed Me

Herc #1
Godless Hercules
Badass mythical weapons
Herc defends Brooklyn

Heroes for Hire #5
Heroes are puppets
The bluetooths are the devil
Puppetmaster gone

Silver Surfer #3
Human Norrin Radd
High Evolutionary
Ooh! A new Herald

Power Man and Iron Fist #4
The masks are possessed
Pokerface's poker gone
More villains revealed

Uncanny X-Force #7
X-Force in The World
Deadpool just wants to be loved
But not molested

Uncanny X-Force #8
Logan calls Wade "ding-dong"
Warren depends on Betsy
Hard but leads to sex

Uncanny X-men #534.1
Start of Gillen's run
Emma back in lingerie
Magneto - winning

Uncanny X-men #535
It's off to Breakworld
X-men prepare for battle
Magneto has balls

Uncanny X-men #536
So Trojan Horse style
Revenge...a dish best served swift
And the cure returns

Wolverine #8
Haha! Squirrel Girl
In sexual fantasies
Finally over

Wolverine and Jubilee #4
They fight a dragon
Emma wears regular clothes
Rockslide has no game


X-Factor #218
Blackcat frees herself
Guido heals from finger-bang
It's a miracle!

Steve Rogers: Super Soldier Annnual #1
Hope is still a bitch
Steve puts her back in her place
Namor needs water

Daken Dark Wolverine #8
Gambit in action
Manicure X-23 style
An exploding arm

X-23 #9
Some thong fan service
Laura does not have pockets
A bloody issue

Generation Hope #6
There's a 6th light now
Kitty is the new liason
Big zombie attack

X-men #10
Exploding lizard
Spidey says "I kick 'yo face!"
X-men save the day

Age of X: Universe #2
How they write Iron Man
"Object: Fish...Content: Barrel"
Pew pew pew pew pew

X-men Legacy #247
Many questions asked
Age of X answers revealed
Walls are coming down

New Mutants #24
End of Age of X
Lots of reunions, repairs,
And anomalies


Tomb of Dracula Presents: Throne of Blood #1
Story of brothers
Vampires only killed by wood?
Head of clan looks white

Carbon Grey #2
Lots of T and A
Lots of blood and violence
Very good artwork